Self injury dating
One of the most important things to come to terms with is that no matter how much you love someone, you don't have the power to make them give up a behavior they are not ready to relinquish.And no matter how much your partner loves you, it’s extremely difficult for them to let go of a self-harming behavior that provides short-term relief or a sense of numbing or self-soothing.and we want to teach them how to verbally communicate their feelings in an age-appropriate way as well as to tolerate their feelings,” says Seliner.“We believe in a complete cessation of the behavior.Lists should be stored somewhere easy to find, such as on a phone, and it may be helpful to have different alternatives for work, home, social situations, or school.“You want to teach people how to live a productive, healthy life …I started self-injuring when I was 17-years-old, the result of not knowing how to manage the overwhelming emotions accompanying years of sexual abuse by a teacher.
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Alternatives should serve as safe distractions, not substitutes, which will help a person get out of crisis mode and into a place where emotions can be expressed in a healthy manner.
Seliner works with clients to create lists of 10 to 15 specific alternatives to use when the impulse to self-injure arises.
These will be unique for every person, and include activities such as listening to music, reading, cleaning the closet, petting a cat or dog, calling a friend, painting, deep breathing, crafting, collaging, going for a walk, coloring, playing video games, or other similar activities.
My list also includes meditation, journaling, drinking tea or hot chocolate, and watching TV.