I want my daughter dating

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specific reason.' "Their stories highlight a divide not between the races, but between the generations.

Both teens participated in an Anderson Cooper 360° study on children and race.

Avoid statements like, “John is always selfish and controlling with you,” even if you know it’s true.

Your child will shut down if you start by attacking their friend.

But if my brother were to bring home a white girl, there's definitely going to be some you know controversy," she said, adding, "I think its more of a problem for people when a black man brings home a white woman because it's been like that for years."Chantay's mother Christal says she'd support her children dating any race but thinks her daughter's issue reveals concerns about whether black men view black women as inferior. For Killen, raising these issues in parents' minds is essential because they can have unintended long-term consequences.

"I think when she speaks about if her brother were to bring home a white girl, what it says I think to our kids, our black kids, is, 'Are we not good enough for our black brothers?

"Parents of young children do often send messages about, 'We can all be friends ... but by adolescence, they start getting more nervous about this and they start thinking, 'Well you should be friends with people like you or like us,' " said Killen.

She added that parents' ultimate fear is often that their children will marry another race.

The architect of the AC360° study, renowned child psychologist Dr.

ou’ve seen it in the movies or on TV: the sweet, innocent daughter is busy studying for classes, spending time with her family, and volunteering at the local animal shelter.

The greasy-haired, tattoo-covered guy has dropped out of high school or college and spends his day driving around in his sleek car. Most of us haven’t experienced this sort of extreme, but it’s still very common for parents to find their older teens and adult children pursuing friendships and relationships with people they don’t approve of.

The first step to take in a fragile situation is to read 4 C’s for Communicating with Your Teen. Then, sit down with your child and explain that you’d like to talk through the issue together.

Thank them for being willing to talk for a few minutes.

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