Friendship boundaries dating
Discuss your financial boundaries early to avoid sticky entanglements later. Many people incorrectly feel that it’s their right or duty to split open a lover’s past so that everything about the lover is laid bare like parts for examination.You, however, are not an automobile; there is no title and registration in your back pocket to hand over to someone; you have no tires for kicking.A relationship should be a balance of give and take, not take till there’s nothing left for someone to give. Let a loved one know there are certain things you will not tolerate: being shouted at, lied to, silenced, or mistrusted – whatever it is, make it known that going past these boundaries is a journey they may not want to take.Make sure to discuss how far you’re willing to go toward being someone’s “fulfillment” and how you would like, in turn, to be filled. If you and your lover don’t know where your sexual boundaries are, one or both of you might spend precious time unhappily faking sexual expression, which is a clear sign of trouble on any relationship’s horizon.Boundaries are necessary, and there’s nothing about them that says they can’t change.They shouldn’t be thought of as rigid constrictions designed to suffocate a relationship.
This is key: Instead of creating your boundaries around a difficult relationship in your life, you must make your boundaries about you.None of us, however, are anyone’s god, goddess, or totem of completion.We’re us, we’re real, and we have needs; needs which are easy to overlook by someone else if that someone puts us on a pedestal.There used to be a huge stigma associated with a division of “romantic” funds, but many married couples now openly maintain separate bank accounts.It isn’t an issue of mistrust or an expectancy of a failed relationship; it’s a matter of convenience.